


round and round we go

by Miracles_happen



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 13:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miracles_happen/pseuds/Miracles_happen
Summary: Basically, if movie Bram was a little bit more like book Bram. Set in the events of Love, Simon at the winter carnival.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also on my [Tumblr](https://miracles-happen.tumblr.com/post/183701488690/round-and-round-we-go)

Bram Louis Greenfeld was a complete and total coward. At least when it came to Simon Spier. Bram had been messaging him all year under the pen name Blue and Simon’s pen name Jacques. During that time, Bram had fallen for the sweet and enthusiastic boy. It didn’t help that Jacques turned out to be Simon, the boy Bram had a crush on since he met him. 

So here he was, at the winter carnival staring at the boy of his dreams ride the Ferris wheel, waiting for him. It had really been Garrett’s idea, hanging out with Nick. He and Bram were having fun at the carnival and decided it would be more fun with their favorite teammate. So they walked around the carnival until they found him at the front of a crowd surrounding the Ferris wheel.

“Hey, man,” Garrett said behind Nick, holding his hand out for a high-five. Nick shushed him with the hand that was not squeezing Abby’s. He, Abby and Leah stared at the Ferris wheel as Simon came to the bottom of the wheel and waited. The whole crowd seemed to hold its breath. Then Simon went back up and they released it. Bram heard some shouts of outrage. Nick muttered “damn” under his breath. He then turned to Garrett and Bram. 

“Hey, guys. What’s up?” He gave them each a bro hug in turn. Bram was distracted, staring at Simon on the Ferris wheel. He hadn’t seen him in weeks. Bram had been avoiding him because he felt bad about deactivating his Gmail account. It didn’t help that the more he looked at Simon, the more he wanted to grab his face and kiss him. He had told Jacques he had wanted to do this with him, and now that Bram knew that Simon was Jacques, he yearned to do so. 

“Hey, why is there a crowd watching Simon?” Bram asked, not caring that he had interrupted a conversation between Garrett and Nick. 

“Omigod, have you not read Creeksecrets?“ Leah said incredulously at him. He, in fact, had not been reading Creeksecrets for the past few weeks because of all the hate comments for Simon there. He shook his head. Leah pulled her phone out of her pocket and tapped on it a little bit before showing Bram a post on the Tumblr. Bram skimmed through the first part, not really finding anything important enough for a crowd to surrounded the Ferris wheel. 

“What do you mean?” Bram asked. Leah scoffed and Abby took the phone out of his hands and started reading out loud. 

“Blue,” Abby started and Bram winced. He didn’t like people talking about his Blue side, scared that he would be outed and the whole school would know he was gay. He just was not ready for that. "I might not know your name or what you look like, but I know who you are. I know you're funny and thoughtful. You choose your words carefully and that they're always perfect and I know that you've been pretending for so long it's hard to believe that you can stop. I get it. Like I told you at the very beginning, I'm just like you. So Blue, after the play, Friday at 10, you know where I'll be. No pressure for you to show up but I hope you do. Because you deserve a great love story too. Love, Simon.”

“So he’s waiting for Blue to take a spot on the Ferris wheel with him,” Garrett said, looking pointedly at Bram. Not being around Simon at all was taking a toll on Bram. He was barely talking, constantly distracted by the guilt of what he did. So when Garrett asked what was going on, he told him everything. About the Tumblr post, about Blue, about Jacques, about his giant crush on Simon. Garrett had been a good friend about it, keeping his secret and telling him repeatedly to tell Simon his identity. But he couldn’t. Because he was a coward. 

Simon came back down again on the Ferris wheel. Once again, the crowd held its breath. Nothing happened and there were more shouts this time. 

“He only has two more turns,” Leah whispered. They watched in silence as Simon went back up the Ferris wheel and down again. The watched him take the last turn. Leah and Abby started crying and Abby leaned her head on Leah’s shoulder. Bram would’ve shipped them together if he wasn’t so distracted that he didn’t have the courage to just go up and sit next to Simon. He watched through tears as Simon went back up the Ferris wheel, the most heartbroken expression on his face. Bram felt like his heart was being stabbed. 

Simon came back down the Ferris wheel, his face fell with disappointment. At him, Bram remembered. Garrett stomped on his foot, motioning for him to go up to him. But Bram just shook his head sadly. He couldn’t, not in front of all these people. 

Then Martin freaking Addison ran up to the Ferris wheel yelling “wait!” The Ferris wheel manager stopped and left the gate to the seat open. 

“It’s me,” Martin panted, “I’m Blue.” At that moment, Bram felt like he was dying as Simon looked at Martin. 

“No,” Simon replied, and Bram felt a burst of love for Simon. “You’re not him.”

“I know,” Martin answered, “I just- I just feel really bad. You know what?” He took some money out of his pocket and handed it to the manager. “That should pay for another ride.” 

“Alright,” the manager yelled, “'Last call for the Ferris wheel!” 

“I can’t do it,” Bram whispered and turned and sprinted out. He needed air, he needed a distraction. He ran all the way to his car and turned up the volume to the saddest song he could find. Of course, it was a recommendation from Jacques. So he turned up the volume and cried. 

——

Garrett watched Bram ran out, tempted to go after him. He knew where Bram was coming from, though. Bram had never risked everything and without Jacques to back him up, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t jump with the uncertainty of Simon being there to catch him. 

“Guys,” he whispered, leaning in to be closer to Abby, Leah, and Nick. “Bram’s gonna drive Simon home.” They all whipped around to look at him. 

“Are you insane?” Leah whisper-shouted. “We are going to drive him home. We’re the ones that have known him for way longer that Bram has and are the best people to help him after a heartbreak like this.” If Garrett wasn’t worried about Bram, he would totally take the opportunity to grin and flirt with her. She was always the cutest when she was ranting. 

“Bram is Blue,” he said quieter. It earned gasps from all three of them. Leah, of course, was the first to recover from the shock. 

“Then why the fuck is he not up there?!” She whisper-yelled as much as she could without getting other people to hear. 

“He can’t because he’s not sure Simon would accept him as Blue.” 

“Of course he would, he’s Simon.”

“If Simon rejected him, Bram would be broken. This is risking his entire life. It’s not as simple as just running up there. Would you risk everyone knowing your secret?” That shut Leah up. The four of them watched Simon walk out of the Ferris wheel, heartbreak was shown all over him, in his slumping shoulders and sad face.

——

Simon walked off the Ferris wheel, sad that Blue didn’t show up. The hopeful side of him thought that maybe Blue just wasn’t there and didn’t read the post, or he was not ready to come out yet. But the reasonable side of him knew that Blue just didn’t like him. Why else would he have deactivated his account and ignore Simon for the past few weeks? How obviously was disappointed in Jacques being Simon. After all, who wouldn’t be? 

He walked over to his friends who all hugged him, including Garrett, surprisingly. Simon started crying. 

“Hey, hey,” Abby said, rubbing his shoulders. “You don’t have to cry.” Simon dropped his forehead on her shoulder and cried, hiccuping. “Besides,” she said getting something from her bag, “Fries before guys, right?” She handed him a bag of waffle fries. Simon straightened up and laughed. 

“C’mon, Si,” Nick said putting an arm over Simon’s shoulders. “Let’s get you home.” Leah walked to the other side of him and put her arm over his shoulder too. 

“Thanks, guys,” Simon said. They walked him over to a Honda Civic, where Cute Bram Greenfeld was sitting. He got out of the car when he saw them coming. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked. 

“You don’t mind if Simon gets a ride home with you instead of me, do you?” Garrett asked. Bram looked incredulously at Garrett but then said, “Yeah, sure no problem.” Simon looked questioningly at his friends as he got into the passenger seat. It was really not like them to just get someone else to drive him home after something like this. But they just waved goodbye to him as Bram backed out and drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is some bad language

_Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit,_ Bram thought as he pulled out of the parking lot. What the fuck was Garrett thinking when he suggested that Simon drive with him? He was sure that any second he was going to explode from his heart beating so fast. What was he supposed to do with Simon Spier in his car, especially after he had just broken his heart?

“Um, I don’t know your address, so can you, um, type it in?” Bram said, pulling the car over to get his phone and unlock it. He opened the maps app and gave it to Simon. He started driving once Simon had typed in the address and the auto-tuned voice filled the car. When it stopped, an awkward silence filled the car. _Shit, what do I say? “Hey, sorry I broke your heart by not showing up and you know, deactivating my account and abandoning you.”_

“He didn’t show up,” Simon whispered, staring out the window. Bram swallowed. 

“Maybe he thought you’d reject him, or something,” Bram said. He sucked in a breath after Simon held a moment of silence. 

“I would never reject the funniest, most kind and smart person I have ever talked to. Ever,” Simon said, turning to look his amazing gray eyes to look at Bram. He seriously wished that he hadn’t. It made Bram feel like his heart went straight up to his throat when he looked at him like that. The auto-tuned voice again rang through the silence. 

“Even though he abandoned you? Even though he got scared and deactivated his account not even bothering to tell you how to talk to him again? Even though he figured out your identity and never told you his? Even though he wanted to keep his identity a secret so much that he completely shut you out? Even though he couldn’t even look at you for the past few weeks?” Bram was crying now, but he couldn’t care less about it. “Even though he couldn’t muster up enough courage to just walk up to you on the Ferris wheel in front of every—“

“Bram,” Simon interrupted and held a moment of silence, “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Bram answered, hiccuping. He stopped at the stop sign and turned to look at Simon. “It’s me. I’m Blue.” The auto-tuned voice came out through the silence again. Simon picked up the phone and tapped on it. 

“Go straight,” Simon said. 

“But the directions said—“ Bram started. 

“And I say go straight,” Simon interrupted again. He stared straight at Bram with his gray eyes again, this time with a fire that Bram adored. Bram muttered “okay” and continued straight ahead. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again. 

“How can you not be mad at me?” Bram asked. 

“Because I love you.” Bram’s breath caught in his throat and suddenly hit the brakes. He turned to look at Simon, breathing heavily. After everything he had done, Simon still loved him. Of course, he did, he was Simon, the person with literally the biggest heart ever. Then Bram started crying. 

——

Simon stared at Bram’s golden eyes brimming with tears. One tear escaped and slid down his perfect cheek. Simon leaned over the center console and wiped the tear with the pad of his thumb. He felt Bram shiver. 

“Bram,” Simon whispered, only a few feet away from his face. Bram answered with a breathless “yeah?” and his lips parted slightly. “You’re parked in the middle of the road.” Simon grinned as Bram nodded and pulled over to the side of the road. They were on a road away from anyone else, just as Simon had planned when he turned off the navigation. Bram again turned to look at Simon with tears streaking down his cheeks. 

“H-how?” He stuttered, which Simon found to be heartbreakingly adorable. “How can you still love me even after everything I’ve done? What is there about me that matters this much?” Simon smiled again. He looked at Bram’s hand gripping the gear shift tightly. _Huh,_ Simon thought, _there’s something in between us. Let’s change that._

Simon unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed over the center console to sit on Bram’s lap. He looked straight into Bram's eyes, and Simon was not sure Bram was breathing. 

“Is this okay?” Simon whispered. Bram let out a small “yes”. Simon smiled softly and heard Bram’s breath hitch. So he was breathing, after all, Simon thought. “I love how funny and thoughtful and careful you are. I love how cute and grammatical you are and your obsession with Oreo's. And that’s just your Blue side.” Simon heard Bram breathing heavily. “I love the way you only talk as much as you need to, and it’s already enough. I love the way you get excited and how your eyes light up. I love your cute smile and—God, I can’t believe I’m saying this— I love you cute smile and golden eyes and soccer calves and hands, and literally every single freaking thing about you. Because you, Bram, are amazing.”

Before either of them knew what he was doing, Simon grabbed Bram’s face and kissed him. For a second, Bram was caught off guard, and Simon felt it. Felt the panic. So he pulled away. And covered his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said through his hands covering his mouth. “I assumed, and I acted, and—“ he was stopped by feeling Bram’s hands lightly peeling Simon’s hands off of his face, revealing Bram’s smiling face. Bram covered Simon’s hands with his own and kissed them. 

“I love your hands, too.” He said quietly in such a Bram way the Simon squeaked. Like, an actual squeak. Bram’s face exploded into a smile and Simon felt his heart melt. Then Bram leaned forward and kissed Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments!!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments!!! <3


End file.
